Tricky919

A man is walking down the street and a dirty street bum stops him and asks him for $2 for dinner. The Man replies are you going to spend the $2 on Wiskey? The bum says nope i stopped drinking two years ago. The man then asks are you going to take the $2 and gamble? The bum says nope i need all the money i can get just to survive. The man then asks are you going to take the $2 and pay for greens fees for golf? The bum says nope, I haven't played golf in 20 years. So the bum says are you going to give me the money? The man says no, I am going to take you home and have my wife cook you a home cooked meal. The bum says arn't you afraid she is going to get mad that you bought home a bum, i know i smell and i'm dirty and the man says nope I want her to see first hand what happens to a man when he stop drinking, gambling and playing golf !!!!!!!!!

TEAMBAJA

A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory. The personnel
manager explains her duties, and tells her to report to work promptly
at
8:00 AM. The next day at 8:45 AM, there's a knock at the personnel
manager's door. The assembly line foreman comes in and starts ranting
about
this new employee. He says she's incredibly slow, and the whole line is
backing up. The foreman takes the personnel manager down to the factory
floor to show him the problem. Sure enough, Elmo's are backed up all
over
the place. At the end of the line is the new employee. She has a roll
of the material used for the Elmo's and a big bag of marbles. They both watch as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles, and
starts sewing the little package between Elmo's legs. The personnel
manager
starts laughing hysterically. After several minutes, he pulls himself
together, walks over to the woman, and says, "I'm sorry, I guess you
misunderstood me yesterday. Your job is to give Elmo two test
tickles!."