The B.S. Thread
08-12-2007, 07:25 PM
#8621
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Location: Conroe, TX
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We need another bigold boat on Conroe
http://www.offshoreonlyclassifieds.c...o17927-en.html
http://www.offshoreonlyclassifieds.c...o17927-en.html
08-12-2007, 07:28 PM
#8622
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08-12-2007, 07:42 PM
#8623
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I didn't have tto work, but I chose to. I was nursing my hang over.
08-12-2007, 09:06 PM
#8624
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Location: Lake Conroe TX
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What you didnt get laid at mardi gras either???????? and no beads, just got done with chinese takeout LA LACK, now it is back on the water, 9:05 lake time.... see you *****es manyana!!
08-13-2007, 05:00 AM
#8625
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Platinum Member
08-13-2007, 09:26 AM
#8626
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08-13-2007, 09:30 AM
#8627
We need another bigold boat on Conroe
http://www.offshoreonlyclassifieds.c...o17927-en.html
http://www.offshoreonlyclassifieds.c...o17927-en.html
08-13-2007, 10:21 AM
#8628
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A Montana cowboy
A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW races out of a cloud of dust towards him.
The driver, a man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, " Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
He then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany . Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 32-page report on his hi-tech, miniature LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy.
He watches the man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the man struggles to stuff it into the trunk of his car.
Then the cowboy says to the man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give it back?"
The man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a U. S. Congressman," says the cowboy.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess?"
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you, you want to get paid for a worthless answer I already knew to a question I never asked. You used $10,000 worth of technology and wasted a pile of paper on a report nobody will ever read. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are, and you don't know a thing about cows ... this is a herd of sheep.
Now give me back my dog."
A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW races out of a cloud of dust towards him.
The driver, a man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, " Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
He then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany . Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 32-page report on his hi-tech, miniature LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy.
He watches the man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the man struggles to stuff it into the trunk of his car.
Then the cowboy says to the man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give it back?"
The man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a U. S. Congressman," says the cowboy.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess?"
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you, you want to get paid for a worthless answer I already knew to a question I never asked. You used $10,000 worth of technology and wasted a pile of paper on a report nobody will ever read. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are, and you don't know a thing about cows ... this is a herd of sheep.
Now give me back my dog."
08-13-2007, 10:31 AM
#8629
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Platinum Member
Seems to be working good right now.
08-13-2007, 10:50 AM
#8630
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